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COPA NEWS |
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USA? This must be fake WM?
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 Bernd raging about fake world cup. They say Uzbekistan loose 0:5 against Portugal. They say Uzbekistan loose against Colombia ! They say Uzbekistan play in United States. They say Uzbekistan play in Mexico. They say Uzbekistan play in Canada.
Bernd says you cannot believe any more what you reading in Internet. This big conspiracy with huge machinery producing fake news.
Bernd knows that real world cup take place in Copa. Bernd knows that real world cup take place in Marocco. Bernd knows Uzbekistan proceed to KO-phase in real World Cup and will beat up the arse of World Cup Host Marocco. This typical Uzbek hospitality when being guest in foreign country: Get drunk, laugh loud, and shit on table !
Make Uzbekistan Great Again !
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24.06.2026 14:34 -
Bernd W. -
FC Bunyodkor
(0.3 TK)
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Bernd W. überfordert
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Bernd W. not know what's on any more. There is Uzbekistan Futbol Ligasi, there is Copa WM, there is fake-football WM in United States, country which call football like socks. Bernd W. not know where to put attention. Put attention on Copa WM and support lousy trainers from Serbia, or better support Oily Thorsten with UAE money and his buddy with Latin name and additional Latinification. Or stay up middle of night watching games like completely un-interesting like England against Croatia? Bernd is what is called in German language ÜBERFORDERT with too many football.
What he can do? Give a shit about to many unnecessary footbal event, and focus on only important football leage: UZBEKISTAN FUTBOL LIGASI ! |
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19.06.2026 12:36 -
Bernd W. -
FC Bunyodkor
(0.3 TK)
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MUGA – Make Uzbekistan Great Again !
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Bernd W. read carefully Uzbekistan Newspaper. Bernd find statement from Uzbekistan-chief trainer calling out for support at Copa-WM!
At first moment, Bernd puzzled: Who is this guy? Is it not “Oily Thorsten with UAE money”? Or is it trainer with Latin name and additional Latinification?
Bernd thought Oily Thorsten with UAE money must be trainer of Buxoro? And what happen in Namangan? Will be many NMR from there now, because trainer is gone to Copa-WM ...?
Bernd not understand trainer job carousel in Uzbekistan. Must all have good connection to president of Futbol |
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Ligasi…
But Bernd understand call from chief-trainers. Bernd will follow them call of-coursely! Bernd will immediately visit Charoshi-Phiki-bar. Bernd will invite Miss Oksana and Miss Elvijra for 64 Vodka-Redbull (just to be clear: 64 Vodka-Redbull each!). Bernd will watch all Copa-WM games together with Miss Oksana and Miss Elvijra. And Bernd call out to all other trainers from Uzbekistan: Come, drink and watch games in Charoshi Phiki Bar! This best way for securing jobs of Oksana and Elvijra and make Uzbekistan win World Cup !
We will Make Uzbekistan Great Again!
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11.06.2026 11:44 -
Bernd W. -
FC Bunyodkor
(0.3 TK)
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❤️ 1 |
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Präsidentenfrühstück
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Charoshi Phiki Bar, 11 Uhr morgens,
Frühstücksbuffet (Vodka, Red Bull, Kakao, Butterbrot)
Präsident von Uzbekistan Futbol Ligasi :
„Du musst W. feuern! Nicht nur dass er sich in der Öffentlichkeit permanent zum Idioten macht, nun hat er auch den ZAT verpennt! Ich will DISZIPLIN in der Liga ! NMR geht gar nicht, verstanden!
Wo ist der hirnverbrannte Vollkoffer überhaupt?“
Präsident von Bunyodkor FC:
„Er hatte sich mit 200,000 S’om abgesetzt und wollte ein neues Leben beginnen. Als er bemerkt hat, dass das Geld dafür nicht reicht, war es gerade 5 Min. nach 7 am letzten Freitag.“
Präsident von Uzbekistan Futbol Ligasi :
„Oh Mann, der Typ gehört echt eingeliefert...
Er hat mich am Anfang der Saison angerufen, weil er wieder Trainer von Lok werden wollte…“
Präsident von Bunyodkor FC:
„NIEMALS! – wir brauchen ihn bei Bunyodkor ! Die Spieler und die Fans lieben ihn!
Aber ich dachte das wart ihr, die ihm den Drohbrief und das Geld vor die Tür gelegt haben?“
Präsident von Uzbekistan Futbol Ligasi :
„Drohbrief? Geld? HAHAHA ! Dazu brauchen wir kein Geld oder Briefe HA HA HA. Wenn wir wollen, ist W. morgen weg aus Uzbekistan oder er ist Trainer von Lokomotiv...“
Präsident von Bunyodkor FC:
„Und habt ihr ihm nicht deinen Doppelgänger in die Bar geschickt, um das Spiel gegen Dinamo zu verkaufen?"
Präsident von Uzbekistan Futbol Ligasi :
„Dinamo was HA HA HA? Solange ich hier was zu sagen habe, werden diese räudigen |
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Seidenstrassen-Kater aus Samarkand nicht mal die Goldene Banane gewinnen…“
Präsident von Bunyodkor FC:
„Apropos Bananen…“
Präsident von Uzbekistan Futbol Ligasi :
„Psssst…- ich will nichts davon hören. Erzähl mir lieber was von diesem Weissen Röss’l... „
Präsident von Bunyodkor FC:
„Wer? meinst du diese Katastrophe äh Apostrophe aus... “
Präsident von Uzbekistan Futbol Ligasi :
„Nein, das weisse Rössl vom…“
Präsident von Bunyodkor FC:
„Achso DER – den kenn ihn nicht. Er war noch nie in der Charoshi-Phiki-Bar. Angeblich ist er Antialkoholiker, also sehr seltsamer Typ. Wie der nach Uzbekistan und dann noch an die Tabellenspitze kommt, ist mir ein Rätsel. Denke, er hat auch Dreck am Stecken…“
Präsident von Uzbekistan Futbol Ligasi :
„Finde mehr über ihn raus. Wenn du das für mich erledigst, dann kann W. von mir aus bei Bunyodkor bleiben…“
Präsident von Bunyodkor FC:
„Ok, kein Problem ich werde am nächsten ZAT einfach alle zur Bunyodkor-After-Match-Party einladen. Da lockern sich die Zungen hehehe “
Präsident von Uzbekistan Futbol Ligasi :
„Was soll das bringen – da bist doch du selbst immer der Besoffenste.
Egal. Auf jeden Fall pass auf, dass W. nicht noch mehr Bullshit produziert, und den ZAT nicht wieder verscheißt. Wir haben einen Ruf zu verteidigen. Uzbekistan muss die NUMMER EINS IN ASIEN werden – nicht nur bei Sex und Drugs – auch bei Futbol ! “
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03.06.2026 15:39 -
Bernd W. -
FC Bunyodkor
(0.3 TK)
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🏆 1 |
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Bernd W. leaving Tashkent?
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Bernd W. seriously thinking for leaving Tashkent.
Why? Because he rich man now.
Why? Few days ago he coming home after nice chatting all night with Miss Oksana and Miss Elvijra. 5 o clock in the morning Bernd not find his door key. But he find strange bag in front of door. Bernd open bag and find 1 Kilogram of paper money and message.
Message says: "Fuck off you idiot!"
Bernd count money: 200,000 S'om! |
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This Lotto-Six ! YESSSS !
Bernd happy about good money. Thinking somebody must be good friend of him.
He thinking world is good to me - he thinking to take good advice to fuck off.
He can start new life with 200,000 S'om some where nicer place but Tashkent.
Maybe Samarkand. Maybe Muborak. Maybe Baden-Württemberg.
Baden-Württemberg sexy land.
Only one thing puzzling Bernd: Why money smell like bananas?
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22.05.2026 14:52 -
Bernd W. -
FC Bunyodkor
(0.3 TK)
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Is this Futbol Ligasi or is this Mafia or what?
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Bernd desparate about Uzbekistan Futbol Ligasi.
Lot of funny things ongoing here:
Fat man with ugly face and sunglasses pretend he Direktar of Futbol Ligasi. Bernd think this guy was Pepeke. Soon after Pepeke disappear.
Then, Bernd register at Futbol Ligasi be driver of Lakamativ. But Mr. Banana driver of Lakamativ. Mr. Banana no idea about trains or Lakamativ. So he must have many connection in Futbol Ligasi. People say one day Mr. Banana fly into Tashkent with big ballon from South |
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America. He dodgy businessman selling banana with strange white powder inside. Bernd try only one time...
Other guy in futbol Ligasi want be serial champion and change name of club. Futbol Ligasi say no problem. Miss Oksana and Miss Elvijra from Charoshi Phiki know this guy very well. They call this guy “Oily Thorsten with UAE money”.
Bernd W. do not want play this dirty tricks. He honest man. Bunyodkor small but honest team. This very sexy. Also women from Tashkent say so.
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15.05.2026 10:30 -
Bernd W. -
FC Bunyodkor
(0.3 TK)
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Bernd meet Direktar of Professional Futbol Ligasi
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Bernd W., Sport Direktar of sexy football team Bunyodkor, sit at "Charoshi Phiki Bar" after last ZAT victary. Bernd drink 41 Vodka-RedbullShit with best friends Miss Oksana and Miss Elvijra...
Suddenly Direktar of Professional Futbol Ligasi visit table of Bernd: Dark sunglass, big beer belly, ugly ugly face ... he very dangerous man.
Direktar says he happy Bernd stay at Uzbekistan. Bernd very nervous. Bernd drink another Vodka Redbullshit.
Direktar pramis to Bernd he can be driver of Lakamativ Tashkent one day. Bernd drink another Vodka Redbullshit.
Direktar pramis Bernd Uzbeki Ligasi Tschampion one day. Bernd drink another Vodka |
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Redbullshit.
Direktar says Bernd only must do little favour for Futbol Ligasi: Bernd need let win Dinamo next ZAT.
Bernd drink another Vodka Redbullshit. Bernd raging inside but very afraid.
Then, Bernd look at dark sunglasses of Direktar and - he suddenly see: this guy not is Direktar of Futbol Ligasi! This guy with dark sunglasses, ugly ugly face and big beer belly is bloody fucking PEPEKE KHAN! Fuck me !
10 years Copa break make Pepeke look 20 year older ! Bernd drink 23 more VodkaRedbullshit with old calleague Pepeke and pramis Pepeke: Cha cha cha, nice try, old bastard, but I pramis Bunyodkor will kick ass of Dinamo like in old times.
Sastarovje ! |
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27.04.2026 16:06 -
Bernd W. -
FC Bunyodkor
(0.3 TK)
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Wattefack is Bunyodkor ?
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This Great News from Uzbekistan: Bernd W. non succesfull trainer from Lakamativ return to Uzbekistan.
Bernd ready to be Lakamativ-driver again. But Direktar of Professional Futbol Ligasi tell Bernd he cannot be at Lakamativ. Bernd be Trainer chef for Bunyodkor.
This big surprise for Bernd. Bunyodkor? Never heard of her...
Bernd want to leave Uzbekistan immediately. Bunyodkor nobody team. Not good enough for Bernd. |
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Bernd about to fuck off from Tashkent and say good bye forever.
But then Bernd meet old friends Oksana and Elvijra in "Xarascho-Phiki" Bar and drink 34 Vodka-RedBullshit. Oksana and Elvira convince Bernd stay in Tashkent. Stay with Bunyodkor. Bunyodkor small but sexy team.
Bernd think 2 minute.
Bernd agree.
Bernd stay in Tashkent. Bernd stay at Bunyodkor. Bunyodkor sexy team. Bernd sexy Sport Direktar.
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24.04.2026 15:04 -
Bernd W. -
FC Bunyodkor
(0.3 TK)
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150 character
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 150 character is what need bernd w for chaving 0.1 goal contingency for making 2 6:6 games in last round of championship. this championshiop is very strange championship with always same team winning. Bernd very suspicious about connection between Prafessional Futbol Ligasi and Gúzor. Maybe is because president from Ligasi is born in town of Guzor? Bernd will make detective next season for investigation... |
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21.07.2012 11:24 -
Bernd W. -
Lokomotiv Tashkent
(0.2 TK)
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eingipst
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W. im hospitalski novi beograd stop Recht hand kaputt stop W. sagt is von zugabgabe ynd zeitungartikel schreiben stop fuer nexte 10 tage rechte hand eingeschraenkt nutzbar stop fenris bitte melden: fisten auch mit gips moeglich stop smaetphoneartikelscgreiben mit gips allerdings scheisse stop...homma scho fuenfhundert zeichen fragezeichen stop oida stop |
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25.05.2012 10:14 -
Bernd W. -
Lokomotiv Tashkent
(0.2 TK)
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Lakamativ-Power
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Bernd W. facing Derby with Pakthator. Pakthtator 2nd place. Lakamativ 3rd place. Bernd says: "This ultimate game for us in this ZAT". Tashkent Derby with Traktor and Pakhtator most important game with most spektators in stadium. I promise to all fans from Lakamativ: Lakamativ will fight like express-train on superfast rails. All fast train you know, TGV, Shinkansen, ICE,...they will all look like slow bullshit-train |
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against Lakamativ Tashkent. if you want to be on destination number 1 you must take Tashkent train with Lakamativ in front. We are ready to face Pakhtator!
Only one last question remain answering for Direktar Sport, Bernd W.: "I know what is a 'Lakamativ'. I know what is a 'Traktor'. But: what the hell is a 'Pakhtator'? Can I drive it? Can I ride it? Can I fuck it?"
i don't know. |
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18.05.2012 08:45 -
Bernd W. -
Lokomotiv Tashkent
(0.3 TK)
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It's the Prafessional Futbol Ligasi, Stupid...
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Bernd W. has fallen in love. He spending lot of time in Tashkent Bar working on best strategy for winning football game of Lakamativ Tashkent. Miss Oksana and Miss Elvijra always helping Mister Bernd, who is Direktar Sport of Lokomotiv Tashkent.
But last night incredible things happen in Tashkent Bar. Mister W. just finish making best tactics for next ZAT with Miss Elvijra and Miss Oksana. Mister W. happy with tactics ordering |
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next round of Vodka and all of a sudden Miss Elvijra's face appear very close to Mister W. face. Mister W. who is a bit shy saying "tri Vodka, baschalasta..." as suddenly he give kiss to Miss Elvijra. Miss Elvijra look strange and immediately slap into face of Direktar Sport. Then she leaving Tashkent Bar in great scenery.
Miss Oksana look at Mister W. and saying :"I think she love you, too, Cherr Direktar..." |
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11.05.2012 15:06 -
Bernd W. -
Lokomotiv Tashkent
(0.3 TK)
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very interesting final
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"this very interesting final ZAT now in Prafessional Futbal Ligasi"' says Bernd W. Bernd W. famous for very sharp analysis of football game and football league in Uzbekistan Professional League. W. reading in table like in open book.
Bernd says: "this very interesting season and I very happy with results from Lakamativ. We will be at front of League Table but we will not be in very front but still is very good season for Lakamativ. We still must play internal Tashkent |
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Cuo between Pakhtator and Traktor and I see Lakamativ only in second place at the moment. Pakhtathtor has many goal-contingeny and so has Traktor. But Traktor shoot too late. Pakhtator is serious candidate for league title, too. I hope next season we will be as strong and Lakamativ can stay big player of League as this season. For now I have not more to say as Miss Elvijra and Miss Oksana waiting for me in Tashkent Bar for last training session before ZAT cha cha cha..."...Long live Lakamativ ! |
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23.03.2012 13:43 -
Bernd W. -
Lokomotiv Tashkent
(0.3 TK)
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not know what to do
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This latest news from Uzbekistan capital Tashkent. Bernd W., Direktar Sport w Fudbalski Klub Lokomotiv Tashkent, sit in "Tasjhkent" Bar with Miss Elvijra and Ms Oksana and discuss tactical play for next and next ZAT.
Bernd says:"Lakamativ never been so strong and on good place. But now I calculate coal is going down and down like Bunyodkor what has made too much sex with ladies. Lakamativ still need some coal to make good |
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Jizzax with Quizilqum what cum in last round of season. Is like Miss Elvijra always wanting shoot all Jizzax for her but one must save always some coal for good Jizzax also with Miss Oksana.
Now I see Lakamativ in funny situation what is described best like in old Uzbeki speaking word what says: "Do not shag whole herd of sheep, because sheperd's wife has Qizilqum with no hair..." ...you understanding what I want to say? Cha cha cha... |
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16.03.2012 17:10 -
Bernd W. -
Lokomotiv Tashkent
(0.3 TK)
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Lokomotiv strong in the middlest of strong
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Direktar Sport w Lokomotiv Tashkent Bernd W. can not believe looking at league table... Bernd says:
“This very emotional moment in my life what is Direktar Sport w Lakamativ. Lakamativ now number four in Prafessional Futbalski Ligasi, which is best placement ever for Lakamativ. I see Lakamativ amongst strongest teams in league. But I also see very hardest time coming up toward us. Now we are in |
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swimmingpool of shark and everybody want fucking us up. But you shall never forget: Lakamativ now is strong… Very strong. ..coming from nowhere station at bottom of league up to four place. Now we will be concentration for not fucking up good season and we know it mean shuffling coal into Lakamativ tank like fucking hell. Because we know: Lakamativ is a strong in middle of strong…”
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07.03.2012 16:13 -
Bernd W. -
Lokomotiv Tashkent
(0.3 TK)
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Please seriously now, Mr. Bernd
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Mr. W. still drunk from success from last season what present international tournament to Lakamativ...
Inside Lakamativ Apparat not very well seen that Mr. W. is chappy. Lakamativ Apparat does not know Chappyness. Does not know Joy. Does not know Beauty in Game. Lakamativ Apparat only know Disziplin and Success. Disziplin and Success is what maka Lakamativ survive in Soviet Time. Disziplin and Success is what make Lakamativ survive in Tashkent with two other klub. Lakamativ Apparatschik want to make western Banause, what is Mr. W., understand rule of Lakamativ, what is rule of Tashkent, what is rule of Prafessional Futbal Ligasi, what is Rule of Uzbekistan.
Mr. W. still drunk from success from last season what present international tournament to Lakamativ... |
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04.05.2012 15:29 -
Bernd W. -
Lokomotiv Tashkent
(0.3 TK)
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Juni 26 
Bernd W. 
